I don’t hate Yoochun (although I’m far past the point of pissed). I said that I loved him and that I would support him so I’m not going to turn my back on him because he made a dumb as fuck decision a few years ago. Some people feel as though they can’t stan him anymore and that’s perfectly fine. I don’t think that they’re wrong and I don’t think that they’re bad people. They have every right to be angry because this is a big deal. The same goes for people on the opposite end of the spectrum. I think that you should be able to continue being his fan without feeling like a terrible person. It’s all in how you deal with it (See HERE if you need help with doing that). You can’t brush off an issue of this magnitude on the basis that he made a mistake. Newsflash; they all do and that doesn’t make it okay.  An anon asked me a while ago how I felt about idols slipping up and I told them that they’re all humans and they should be held accountable for the wrongs that they have committed. They don’t have a ‘get out of jail free card’ because they are well known. If anything, they should be more aware of their actions and the consequences that will result from them. They’re in the public eye constantly and what they do affects far more people than the actions of your average citizen.

Just because I love him doesn’t mean that I’m going to allow myself to be blinded by his stupidity. I hold other idols responsible for their actions so I’d be a hypocrite to not do the same for mine. If Jae was the one going through this you bet your ass I’d be reacting the same way. I don’t think that he’s a disgusting human being but I do think that what he did was disgusting.  No amount of love is going to change that. It doesn’t make me hate him but it sure does alter the way I look at him. Even after this is all settled, even after he makes a public statement to address this issue… My view of him has forever been changed. I’m just so disappointed. I had high expectations for him; I thought he was better than that. I’ve heard nothing but great fanaccounts from people that have met/run into him. They always praise him, saying that he’s very kind and respectful towards his fans. I don’t doubt their words but I don’t know… It’s like his innocence has been lost to me. Every time I look at him, the fact that he did this is going to cross my mind and make me a little bit uneasy. I feel nauseous every time I think about it. And I’m sure that feeling is going to last for a while. The same thing happened with Junho and Siwon after they made their homophobic statements, Teuk, Yesung, + Shindong and their sexist comments, Kangin and his fight + DUI, etc. I still stan them but even now, when I watch videos of them, thoughts about those issues reappear in my mind. It’s never going to go away. I’m never going to feel the same way about him that I did before this incident.

I can’t stand the fact that fans are sitting at their computers trying to defend him. Yes, we should protect our idols, but not when they’re the ones in the wrong. I’ve seen excuse after excuse about why he did what he did. It doesn’t matter why. What matters is that he did it and that it was not okay. “Oppa didn’t mean it”. Of course he did. He meant it when he did it or else he would have handled the situation in a different manner. “She probably provoked him!” Yes, because victim blaming is fucking okay. Regardless of what she did, he shouldn’t have taken it that far. Sure it was in the heat of the moment and he may have been pissed but that’s no excuse for hitting someone like that. He has an entire security team following him around 24/7. If the girl was really causing an issue he could have easily called them to handle the situation. I don’t know what the context was but there is no reason that he should have put his hands on her like that, especially because she was a fan. She may have been a sasaeng fan but she was still a fan and you don’t do that to someone that loves you. You just fucking don’t. 

I’ve also seen people saying that it wasn’t him and that it was a manager of some sort. I know that the fancam isn’t exactly clear but I am 99% sure that it was Yoochun on the stairs. I will make a frame by frame chart of screencaps from the video with his arms highlighted if people are really that much in denial. I have pictures from earlier that day and from that exact moment. He was the only one in their party with a black shirt on and dark hair. He was the only one wearing grey pants and you can compare the distance he was from Jae at the moment that it happened. It was him. Accept it. (EDIT: Another fancam was just posted so now I’m positive.).

I’m not doing this because I dislike him. I’m reacting this way because what he did was unacceptable, idol or not. I may be a fan, but I can recognize that what happened was not right.

Oh and another thing. The most disturbing comment that I read yesterday throughout this entire ordeal came from a fan saying that the reason why this wasn’t made a big deal out of before is that it’s not an uncommon thing for idols to do. I’m not sure how reliable said fan is but that scares me. A lot. That would explain (not justify) why Jaejoong seemingly did nothing when the girl was hit (which also angers me but that’s not the issue at hand). It makes me wonder about who these idols really are and what else K-fans are hiding from the International community…

The only thing that is keeping me from completely losing my mind is that this happened 3 years ago. The fact that it was so long ago doesn’t mean we should dismiss it but I hope to God that he’s changed since then. If this was something recent I don’t know what I’d do.

Apparently lots of KCassies knew about this but there was never really any uproar. The int. fans are the ones that are just finding this out. I wonder if he even knows how big of an issue this is becoming in the fan community…  I really hope so because I’m waiting for a statement from him, I don’t care if it’s on twitter or something official. I don’t want excuses. I don’t want his company to speak for him. He’s a grown man. I need to hear from him and I need to know that he is genuinely sorry. 

This is so sporadic but I don’t know. I’m confused and my head is still spinning. I feel sick and my mind is cluttered with thoughts.  Bottom line is what occurred on that stairwell was fucking terrible and there is absolutely no excuse for it. This is a situation that I was hoping I’d never have to deal with.  It sucks.